The Power of Women

Sometimes I forget how powerful it is to get together with a bunch of women and talk. There are times in life when getting together with friends is difficult. Work, kids, activities and the daily "stuff" sometimes gets in the way.

Last week I had the privilege of going to a women's retreat and connecting with 250 women. 245 of whom I had never met before. Meeting these women and making new friends was truly a gift. I enjoyed talking and laughing with strangers as they became friends. I found out new things about me as well. I stepped out of my normal comfort zone and tried something new. I even roomed with 5 complete strangers and made connections that will go well beyond those few days.

I made a deeper connection with a friend from a networking group. I knew that the connection was always there but it was nice to find that we have more in common than just that group.

I learned about others, learned about myself, missed my husband and kids and, again, appreciated them for their support of my personal and professional goals.

The power of connecting with other women and taking time myself were gifts not to be taken for granted.

If you have the opportunity, go to a networking event, join a friend when she goes out with her work friends or take the time to go to a social event where you can meet other women. Make an effort, step out of your comfort zone and see what happens. You might be surprised. The power of women connecting with women affect all aspects of our lives.

Parenthood...

Being a parent watching a child grow is like watching grains of sand slowly trickle from your hands.

Pregnancy begins the journey of parenthood. When I was pregnant with my first son I felt a sense of calm, feeling that I had control over his safety. It was a false sense of control because pregnancy is a delicate and intricate process that creates the beautiful baby 9 months later. However, as the mom, I thought that if I ate right, was cautious and took care of myself to the best of my ability, I would be caring for my unborn baby. Then, when I became pregnant for the second time I learned that sometimes, even when you do your best, things happen. I lost the second pregnancy at 11 weeks. The doctor said that it happen quite frequently and there is no way to know why the pregnancy "terminated". It would not mean that I couldn't get pregnant again and have a wonderful pregnancy as I did the first time.

My husband and I were devastated. We never thought that could happen to us. That day we heard stories from friends who had similar experiences. It became clear how precious the gift of pregnancy and parenthood are. We were fortunate to become pregnant again and now have 2 boys.

I realized that even as I held my baby within my belly, I was not in control. I learned the lesson that control is an illusion. I had no more control over my babies well being when he was inside me that I do when I watch him ride his bike. As a parent I wish for some sense of control that equates to safety. As an individual I know that life has lessons for all of us.

As a parent I watch my children, teach them what I have learned and realize that time is something that moves at its' own pace. The first year of my son's life is going so fast. He has grown, changed and learned so much. He is no longer dependant on me for all of his needs. He is mobile, has his own opinions of what he likes and dislikes, has favorite toys and is moving into developing his independence.

The challenge for a parent is to know when to let go. From the time the baby is born we are preparing ourselves to let them walk on their own. I am amazed at how fast that day comes and how hard it is to stand back and let them fall, knowing that the only way to learn is to experience. Then comes sending them off to school. The list goes on and on.

Watch the sand trickle through your fingers, each grain another experience. Even when you think that the sand is gone, look closer, the glow of the tiny specs of sand remain. Even when our children are grown and on there own, their glow is still with us, the parents. The thoughts of childhood fill our heart, our memories, and our spirits with the joy and love of parenthood.

Inner Strength

My husband and I have 2 young children and I am constantly trying to protect them in everyday life. I hear stories daily that are tragic and involve kids. It makes me hold on even tighter to my babies.

Yesterday, the news came on right after Oprah, as it always does. I usually turn it off because I have a hard time hearing all of the tragedy in our world. For some reason, I left it on. The first story was about a family awaiting news on whether or not their son was on a helicopter that was shot down in Iraq. I saw the family. I know the family. My husband is good friends with the Mother. At that moment, I began to cry.

For her, for her family, for her son and for the hope that he was not on the helicopter. For all of the moms everywhere waiting to hear news about their child. For families who have lost a child. For all of the moms praying that their child is going to be okay. For all of the dads, brothers, sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and so many more, that sit wondering if their loved one is okay. For the people in the waiting rooms at the hospitals praying for their loved ones. I wept for them all. I sat in awe of the strength that it takes to watch you son, daughter, husband, wife, dad or mom go off to war.

On Monday I watched as parents cried when their child entered preschool. My son waved goodbye excited about the day and I realized that I can not control every minute of his day and this is just the beginning. I watched stories on television of parents sending their kids off to college and how hard it was to have them away from home. Then I wondered, what strength must be found deep within to wave goodbye as your child goes off to war. Not only a child, any and all people waving and praying to whoever they believe in for a safe return of their loved one.
The strength seems to be available when we need it. We don't even know that we posses it until we are driven to call upon it. It is the strength that allows people to do things that are not humanly possible. We have all heard the stories that defy logic. Is it our inner strength, faith, guidance, luck? I don't know but I am grateful that it is there when I am driven to call upon it.

My heart goes out to all of you everywhere. May your love for your family and your love for yourself guide you and keep you safe.

Cautious or Carefree?

Before I got married and had a family I seemed to be carefree. I had an entraprenurial spirit and would lay it all on the line time and again for my business. Why not? What did I have to lose? I only had me to worry about. My theory was, what is the worst thing that can happen, I would have to get a job. I already had one before and it wasn't so bad, so why worry.

Well, then I met the man that I would later marry. I kept my carefree attitude towards work and finances for a while. It did become a little harder becasue it did affect someone other than me. A little caution crept in.

Then, the wammy! I had my son and all of a sudden I was cautious about my decisions. It seemed that I was so cautious about his safety that it seeped into my career, my financial decision, everything. It took about 6 months for me to realize that I had changed, dramatically. I went from a carefree, lay it on the line go get what you want entraptrnuer to an overly cautious wife and mother who ran a business.

Wow! I was shocked when I figured it out. The trick was how to change it back, or should I ? Was I being irresponsible to live more carefree with a family? Was I cheating myself if I didn't? I felt a tug of war going on inside of me. So, I made a compromise.

When I made a decision to do something, I would go for it with a blaze of glory. No holds barred. Otherwise, how would I know if I could do it or not? I decided that I had to give the things that were important to me a chance and if I was cautious I was not being me and I could sabotage what I was doing.

I also decided to show my sons (we have two now) that if you want to do something, make sure that it is what you want, feel it in the core of who you are. Then, if you still want it, go for it. What is the worst that can happen? You try again. In my opinion it becomes education on how not to do it next time.

I have decided that I would rather be a mom that has tried a lot and succeeded at a few than a mom who was afraid to try. My husband supports my decision, after all, it is who I was meant to be. Now I am authentic with both of my sons and they see me for who I am. A woman who likes to go for what she wants and feels good about it.

Since then, I wrote 2 books, a set of empowerment cards and started a non profit foundation all because I went for it. Thanks to laying it on the line and going for it, why not?