Inner Strength

My husband and I have 2 young children and I am constantly trying to protect them in everyday life. I hear stories daily that are tragic and involve kids. It makes me hold on even tighter to my babies.

Yesterday, the news came on right after Oprah, as it always does. I usually turn it off because I have a hard time hearing all of the tragedy in our world. For some reason, I left it on. The first story was about a family awaiting news on whether or not their son was on a helicopter that was shot down in Iraq. I saw the family. I know the family. My husband is good friends with the Mother. At that moment, I began to cry.

For her, for her family, for her son and for the hope that he was not on the helicopter. For all of the moms everywhere waiting to hear news about their child. For families who have lost a child. For all of the moms praying that their child is going to be okay. For all of the dads, brothers, sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and so many more, that sit wondering if their loved one is okay. For the people in the waiting rooms at the hospitals praying for their loved ones. I wept for them all. I sat in awe of the strength that it takes to watch you son, daughter, husband, wife, dad or mom go off to war.

On Monday I watched as parents cried when their child entered preschool. My son waved goodbye excited about the day and I realized that I can not control every minute of his day and this is just the beginning. I watched stories on television of parents sending their kids off to college and how hard it was to have them away from home. Then I wondered, what strength must be found deep within to wave goodbye as your child goes off to war. Not only a child, any and all people waving and praying to whoever they believe in for a safe return of their loved one.
The strength seems to be available when we need it. We don't even know that we posses it until we are driven to call upon it. It is the strength that allows people to do things that are not humanly possible. We have all heard the stories that defy logic. Is it our inner strength, faith, guidance, luck? I don't know but I am grateful that it is there when I am driven to call upon it.

My heart goes out to all of you everywhere. May your love for your family and your love for yourself guide you and keep you safe.

Cautious or Carefree?

Before I got married and had a family I seemed to be carefree. I had an entraprenurial spirit and would lay it all on the line time and again for my business. Why not? What did I have to lose? I only had me to worry about. My theory was, what is the worst thing that can happen, I would have to get a job. I already had one before and it wasn't so bad, so why worry.

Well, then I met the man that I would later marry. I kept my carefree attitude towards work and finances for a while. It did become a little harder becasue it did affect someone other than me. A little caution crept in.

Then, the wammy! I had my son and all of a sudden I was cautious about my decisions. It seemed that I was so cautious about his safety that it seeped into my career, my financial decision, everything. It took about 6 months for me to realize that I had changed, dramatically. I went from a carefree, lay it on the line go get what you want entraptrnuer to an overly cautious wife and mother who ran a business.

Wow! I was shocked when I figured it out. The trick was how to change it back, or should I ? Was I being irresponsible to live more carefree with a family? Was I cheating myself if I didn't? I felt a tug of war going on inside of me. So, I made a compromise.

When I made a decision to do something, I would go for it with a blaze of glory. No holds barred. Otherwise, how would I know if I could do it or not? I decided that I had to give the things that were important to me a chance and if I was cautious I was not being me and I could sabotage what I was doing.

I also decided to show my sons (we have two now) that if you want to do something, make sure that it is what you want, feel it in the core of who you are. Then, if you still want it, go for it. What is the worst that can happen? You try again. In my opinion it becomes education on how not to do it next time.

I have decided that I would rather be a mom that has tried a lot and succeeded at a few than a mom who was afraid to try. My husband supports my decision, after all, it is who I was meant to be. Now I am authentic with both of my sons and they see me for who I am. A woman who likes to go for what she wants and feels good about it.

Since then, I wrote 2 books, a set of empowerment cards and started a non profit foundation all because I went for it. Thanks to laying it on the line and going for it, why not?